Freelance Restaurant Critic / Buffet Specialist (central los angeles)

“Keep heapin’ food on my plate

And your review’ll be great!”

As a former chef, Simon “Soufflé” Lafleur brings more to the table than just his fork and knife. Lafleur’s hunger for success led him to Portland, where his insatiable appetite for the culinary arts, as well as for the ingredients, grew out of proportion. After being relieved as head chef at his former place of employment due to the continued, mysterious loss of inventory, Lafleur has taken life’s lemons and made lemonade. He is currently critiquing restaurants across America for his upcoming book “Feast or Famine,” and judging by the photo, he appears to be doing the former.

If you wish to have Simon review your eating establishment, please reply.

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/for/1481977619.html

Date: 2009-11-25, 9:50AM PST
Reply to: sale-uhcsn-1481977619@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Location: central los angeles
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Midget seeking Widgets for a Gadget on a Budget (Southbay)

Happy to buy any nut, bolt, or tool
But praised be the one who can lend me a stool!

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/tls/1480934494.html

Location: Southbay
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Date: 2009-11-24, 1:44PM PST
Reply to: sale-865np-1480934494@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Chip Wang - 20 (Antelope Valley)

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/ant/m4m/1480584930.html

I new in town seeking gay drinking buddy. I Chip Wang.

Date: 2009-11-24, 10:20AM PST
Reply To This Post

Location: Antelope Valley
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Chinese Finger Trap (Long Beach)

Free to anyone who wants to come take this off my hands--literally!

PostingID: 1480369935

los angeles craigslist > long beach / 562 > for sale / wanted > free stuff

Date: 2009-11-24, 8:24AM PST
Reply to: sale-3xj8p-1480369935@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Location: Long Beach

**********

Best Reply: (if one can overlook the obvious problem of physics)

Re: Chinese Finger Trap (Long Beach)

From: Miguel *

Try sticking it up your ass!

Baseball Bat - $20 (Van Nuys)

Only used once for debt collection. Don't misunderstand. It works real good. Da only reason I'm lettin dis baby go is cuz da boys just got me a Louisville Slugger for my birtday. Yous can have it for 20 bucks, or email me wit a offer I can't refuse. Luigi (dat's me in da photo up dair)

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/spo/1477540305.html

Date: 2009-11-22, 10:37AM PST
Reply to: sale-y2zxf-1477540305@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Location: Van Nuys

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Gerald Fitzpatrick Seeks Patrick to Fit Gerald - 40 (haight ashbury)

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/m4m/1476597626.html

Date: 2009-11-21, 1:43PM PST

Gerald Fitzpatrick Seeks Patrick Fitzgerald!

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
***************

Best Reply (and yes, like the other CL ads on this blog, this is a real reply):

Hi, I am Daniel ..... thank god I seen your ad over cgaig'list. Being a gay by nature I was feeling a bit shy to contact others to fulfill my desires ..... hoping you may understand.

But after seeing your post I am a bit comfortable to contact you. It seems we both live in the same city so I am best hoping that we can meet easily and can really spend quality time together :D

I have uploaded my pics with different poses and of whole body part, if you know what I mean ;) Just search for me giving our Zip code and my ID: daniel****

Here is that website's link: http://homosonline.com

Btw, you don't need to waste your money at all, since its free to register on this website and you even don't need a credit card or any of that.

Please drop msg. for me there and also upload your REAL photo like mine :D .

Hoping to meet you soon ....

- Daniel

Daniel ****

Daniel****@hotmail.com

Math Tutor (central valley)

I'm a mathemetician named Paul
I can solve any problem at all
The size of your class
Times the width of my ass
Is my cell number, feel free to call!

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sgv/zip/1474799429.html

Date: 2009-11-20, 10:20AM PST
Reply to: sale-vcxyg-1474799429@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Location: central valley
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Free Houseplant (Calabasas)

Hello to anyone interested in a free houseplant. My tenant in the guesthouse moved out rather suddenly and left behind a potted plant. My initial impulse was to dispose of this plant because it has a very unpleasant odor and is unattractive, but it is against my morals to dispose of any living thing. I'll be very happy if someone would pick this up sooner than later. Perhaps it is more suitable outdoors. Thank you. Olga

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/zip/1474650604.html

Date: 2009-11-20, 9:04AM PST
Reply to: sale-nttk8-1474650604@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Location: calabasas
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

*********************************
Best Reply:

Will pick up immediately!

From: Jaden J***** <*******jaden@hotmail.com>
Add to Contacts
To: sale-nttk8-1474650604@craigslist.org
Jaden
213 500 (ACTUAL NUMBER REMOVED)

** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY
** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home
** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping
** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html

Classic Vessel - $3500 (Long Beach)

Old, old boat available. Only used once, many, many years ago, to transport animals to safety during a really big flood. If interested, please put: "Attention Noah" in the subject line.

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lgb/boa/1474131284.html

Date: 2009-11-19, 8:41PM PST
Reply to: sale-4bz7a-1474131284@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Location: Long Beach
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

************************
Best Reply:

attention noah
Fri, November 20, 2009 8:55:25 AM
From: "brid*****@comcast.net" Add to Contacts
To: sale-4bz7a-1474131284@craigslist.org

can email me some pic of your boat thank you marty

Crappy Brown Chair $25 (Studio City)

Crappy Brown Chair (originally white) now available. Perfect for any shack or shanty, or an elegant addition to any alley. Filled with dust and debris, this one of a kind eyesore is the perfect compliment to any vagabond's decor.

Date: 2009-11-17, 2:35PM PST
Reply to: sale-ugarh-1470624020@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/fuo/1470624020.html

***************
Best Reply:

I don't want this chair, but I just had to say, hahahhahahaa!!!
Crappy Brown Chair - $25 (Studio City)
Tue, November 17, 2009 5:27:34 PM
From: Marina ****
View Contact
To: sale-ugarh-1470624020@craigslist.org
Marina ****, RN
marina****@**.com

Lucky Chinese Spheres (Studio City)

I know it sounds crazy, and I’m not even a superstitious person, but this is real. On my first trip to Chinatown, an old, mystical, Chinese lady told me that these spheres grant the purchaser one, and only one, wish. The first requirement was to never tell anyone what was wished for. Upon my wish being granted, I was instructed to sell the spheres in order to pass along the luck to the next purchaser for no less or no more than the amount of my purchase: twenty-one dollars.

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/for/1455111443.html
***********************************************
Best Reply:

I could sure use some luck, so if you still have them, I will buy them from you. My name is Sonia (818) 669-(ACTUAL NUMBER DELETED). Thanks.

From: "******sonia@aol.com"
Add to Contacts
To: sale-kvwab-1455111443@craigslist.org

Cussing Parrot (London)

london craigslist > for sale / wanted > general for sale
Cussing Parrot - £100 (west london)
Date: 2009-11-19, 5:24PM GMT
Reply to: sale-jqsuy-1473166989@craigslist.org

This foul-mouthed bird has spoiled many a dinner party with its poor manners, obscene language, and outrageous insolence. His inappropriate and mortifying outbursts have become altogether intolerable. No need to worry about feeding him, as he has thrived on garbage for the past seven months and drinks freely from the toilet. I purposefully leave his cage door ajar and religiously open my windows every day before going to work, hoping this feathered monstrosity will fly away to a new home. Much to my dismay, this rude, deplorable pet is always waiting to greet me with an insult the moment I return home. He has all but ruined my self-esteem. Please, somebody, take him!
# Location: west london
# it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1473166989

******************************************************
Best Reply:

From:
"Jack Mailer"
Add sender to Contacts

Hullo

The ad for the removal of your parrot caught my eye, and I would like to register my interest in your "feathered monstrosity".

My only concern is that, whilst I am an avid lover of parrots, I have in the past known the sting of the heartache that they can cause. As I'm sure you can imagine, I am now more introverted at social events such as parties and A Level results celebration dinners. Close family members have, on occasion, commented on this.

Can you offer me assurances that I will not be left a lifeless husk (emotionally) if I were to take your parrot?

Regards

Jack